Samsara
by Aondeug
Summary: Her euphoria and arrogance led to her dearh, but there is no proper death for a Magical Girl as Mami soon learns. An account of what happened to Drill Hair following her death at the hands  well mouth really  of Charlotte.


All right then… So the usual things…Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. How do you feel about it, what do you like, what do you dislike, how do you think the piece can be improved. And now the ritualistic disclaimer…

DISCLAIMER: I do not in any way, shape or form own anything related to the Magica Quartet. That is property of the respective holder…peoples…

With that said and done we can begin…

This was quite possibly the greatest feeling in all the world. It certainly seemed to be to Tomoe Mami. When had she last felt this way? Had she ever felt this way? So confident and hopeful? Perhaps when she was younger she had. When her parents were alive and she had someone to want her and love her. When she wasn't alone. It didn't really matter to her if she had felt this way before though. The point was that she felt this way now.

The summoning and firings of her guns, the being the city's sole defense against hideous otherworldly monsters all seemed so easy. She did not even fear for her life as she normally did. Why should she? She was clearly strong enough to do this on her own, strong enough to be flashy and showy. It was good to impress. She had to impress or she might lose that one bit of happiness she had managed to find, the finding of a partner. Someone with whom she could relate to. Someone who could aid her in her battles both physical and emotional. A friend whose name was Madoka.

Her gun work was sloppy. Yes it was incredibly impressive looking. She meant for it to be so though perhaps she did not think so. The Witch still wasn't dead when it was long overdue for a defeat. She was playing with it and the amazed looks of her new friends merely encouraged her reckless abandon.

She soon grew tired of this display and decided to end it with one decisive blow. It was time for a show stopping finale worthy of this new bond. She had never liked using this technique before. It was incredibly draining and prone to missing a target unless said target was weak and helpless. She had learned so almost at the cost of her life, the very thing she wished for, early on in her career. She no longer feared that though. She was certain, absolutely certain that this would succeed. The Witch lay on the ground seemingly helpless and with one loud cry of "Tiro Finale!" her finishing move was dealt.

The guns left her side, dematerializing to the nothingness from which they came, and she brought forth her favorite tea cup. A sip was taken and a smile spread on her lips. That was the last one. The last fight she would ever have to fight alone. From now on it would be Mami, Madoka, and Sayaka; a trio of Magical Girls who would protect Mitakihara together. Life wasn't as bad as she thought!

No. It was worse than that. She stared a large cartoonish worm in the face. Its mouth opened. That action so slow and yet she was slower. So slow she could not raise an arm to defend herself. Eyes wide in shock she chastised herself. Why had she been so stupid? Why did she turn her back on the Witch? Why did she use that damned attack? Why Mami? Why were you such an idiot? Your one shot at happiness and you ruined it in the worst way possible. Her eyes began to tear up. God dammit. This was horrid. So much so she wanted to laugh, but she did have the time to do even that because the large mouth closed around her head. Sharp teeth tore through her neck and ripped her head from her body. The pain was horrible, but not as horrible as the knowledge that this was all her fault.

Luckily for Mami the pain didn't last too long. In fact she lost all feeling in her body soon after her decapitation. Her other senses had followed. Sight, sound, smell, taste; these five senses along with touch were now lost to her. Only in her imagination did they remain. She panicked. Any creature would at the deprivation of all their senses. It was during her panic that she realized that there were more than the five primary senses she had learned about in school. There was a sense of form, a sense of shape, knowledge of where your body was and how it looked. How tall it was, how long your arms were, where your hands were in contrast to the rest of your body. That was lost to her. She tried in vain to cling to an image of herself. To force that feeling on herself once more, but she could not. She couldn't even picture herself in her imagination more. Still she grasped at the faintest sense of self. Her efforts were fruitless. She was now a formless entity that was spreading outward against her control. She was hit by panic. This was worse than how she imagined death, much worse. Total loss of consciousness for all eternity sounded lovely. Like the best thing ever even! No. Instead she was losing herself. She wasn't a girl anymore. She wasn't an anything when she had to be. She absolutely had to be something. She wasn't though and she knew her struggles where useless. Somehow that knowledge proved to be worse than the loss of self itself.

She gave up eventually. Nothing she did would stop this. No amount of saying "I am Tomoe Mami!" would bring that feeling of solidarity back to her. She simply was even though she did not want it. Her sense of language left her. She had no need for it like that. She just was and to be honest it she began to find it rather pleasant. There was no emotion bothering her at all. No sadness, no rage, no fear, no happiness, no nothing. She simply existed and she had come to terms with that.

The peace did not last though. It couldn't last. Something tugged on her and her abstract existence. It pulled on her as thought it was trying to absorb her. She felt emotion again. Fear and anger welled up inside her vast being. Why couldn't she exist as she was alone for all eternity? Desire filled her and she fought back against this strange new being. This thing was larger than her and stronger than her. It engulfed her wholly and she knew all hope was lost. Every last bit of her slowly merged with this new presence and she could do nothing to stop it.

Joined with this strange and unusual being she felt a small bit of pleasure, warm feeling of security and togetherness. Whatever this thing was it was nice to be part of it. It was pleasant even though pain also came with the pleasure. A fear came to her. A very familiar fear of loneliness came to her. She would prevent this feeling by clinging to this warm loving being that had forcibly stripped her from her lonely peace. She reached out and violently sought to become nearer than near, more perfectly joined than perfect. This force responded in kind and held her ever closer, ever more secure.

Sensation trickled back to her. This thing had a definite form and this form was now also her form. She could not clearly comprehend its exact shape, but there was a general sense of it. This form changed periodically, but there seemed to be two distinct forms. She learned these and could tell when the being changed even if she could not fully understand its shape. Smells came back to her as well. Some were sweet and sugary, others harsh and medicinal. Though these were familiar to her they did not affect her strongly. Directly anyway. Whatever this thing was it felt strongly about these scents. It also felt strongly about the sounds and images and tastes that came rushing to her. Some filled it with joy, but most pained it. Anger, fear, sadness; a myriad of unpleasant emotions tormented this thing and in turn tormented Mami. The hushed voices, loud cries, small hands against the window, savory taste of some cheese, figures clad in white, a small cat like being with a never changing expression… These things were experiences, feelings and sensations that had come to this thing before it knew Mami. Eventually her own experiences came back to her. Screeching tires, screaming, a reporter, a psychiatrist, school, the smell and taste of bitter tea, an intense feeling of ostracization… This being happily embraced her and these things while it continued to share its own. In that mutual sharing of pain Mami found joy. This creature cared and understood even if it did not comprehend the delicate intricacies of these memories. She could no longer understand them herself and it mattered not. Together they would simply exist as they were.

At least that is what she had hoped for. Her hopes were cruelly dashed when the being began to force her out and away. It was trying to cut their bond! She would not have that. She wanted this being and wanted to be part of it forevermore. It no longer wanted this however and it pushed on her. Slowly it forced every small piece of her away from it. It pried her grasp from it and ignored her pleas.

She was cut off and it hurt. Anger, anguish, panic, hate, yearning… She was a torrent of feeling that grew smaller and compact. She was growing into something more solid, something that could exist on its own. She thrashed and cried and kicked and screamed. It was good to be able to do that once more. She now wanted nothing more than to lash out against the being for forcing her away from it. Then there came the light. It was bright and hard and she hated it with a great passion. She struggled harder and harder but she was being forced away. She couldn't keep hold of this thing's self. As she came closer and closer to the light the more she hated everything. No. No. No. It was good before. Why? Why did she have to go out _there_ again? That was where all the bad things happened. She clawed and scratched and made one last effort to stay in this being. She was forced out and the light surrounded her, blinding her. She writhed on the floor pathetically crying out in frustration. They were apart. That thing forced them apart and now she was back in this horrible place where only bad things occurred.

Her vision cleared slowly but surely. Her surroundings could be made out and she looked up from the ground to take it all in. Still angry she examined the haphazard mix of desserts and hospitals. A something dropped down in front of her, a small pink something that was very familiar to her. A wave of emotion hit her. It was that being. How could she have declared it hateful? It was so wonderful! She fell in love with it all over and again and sat up so that she could throw her arms around it. She wanted it. She needed it. It was part of her. The being forced her off though.

No.

No.

No.

A sound was heard. A frightened voice called out. The voice belonged to a familiar creature. It was much taller than her and her love. He shrieked at the sight of them. The noises he made aggravated her. She hated them and she set out to make them stop. The creature was throttled, beaten and torn apart until he moved no more.

A laugh was heard. The laugh came from the only other thing in the room with her. It came from her love that dropped itself down next to her. A small pat on the head was given to her and the being began to devour the dead creature. It ate happily and the occasional pleased sound was elicited. She herself fed on the creature as well. It was a happy moment sharing this meal that she had made of that hateful creature. She would do this again she decided. She would make herself and her love happy at any cost. Hundreds of these hideous creatures would fall before them and become their meals. These horrible things that could do nothing, but hurt others and complain loudly would serve a purpose. To satiate their hunger and rage.

The girl once known as Tomoe Mami was at last gone. Small traces of her remained in this new monster, but the girl was lost to the world. Never could she be brought back and neither could her love that had also fallen from the realm of humans. She had grown from a Magical Girl into a Familiar that would soon grow into a Witch. Such was the fate of Magical Girls.

Ok…So assumptions and changes were made about and to the canon obviously…which are…

1. Magical Girls whose Soul Gems that are broken do not have their souls destroyed. The soul merely expands and affects the things around it. It can be contained or absorbed by things capable of doing so (Witches and nothing else really).

2. Magical Girls and humans who are eaten by Witches become one with the Witch and eventually become Familiars.

3. Charlotte managed to avoid defeat.

I would ask that this thing be judged on its own merits. I would love comments about the changes though!

For those curious about the title...Samsara is the name for the cycle of Birth, Life, Death, and Rebirth in Buddhism and some other religions.

So…thank you for taking the time to read this. More thanks to those who comment on this piece.


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